Getting Some Perspective
It’s become a habit to focus on the piling bills, failed relationships, the constant pain and other challenging circumstances that we experience, and then to get so tangled up with them that we let them define us. Being aware of these things is not the problem, but obsessing over them or identifying with them starts causing issues for us and puts a serious dent in our happiness. Its a good idea to regularly just take a step back to get a better perspective on it all. sometimes in order to rise above our circumstances we need to detach by focusing our attention elsewhere. Asking questions to shift our attention works amazingly well. What what are my options with what I have? What makes me happy? Who do I want to be? Focusing on the problem itself, bills, relationship issues or lack of them, etc. never provides solutions. Solutions exist, but to give our mind access we need new perspective. Apart from giving us access to more solutions and opportunities, focusing on what we want creates a more inspired outlook. Learning to divert our attention back from what we don’t want to what we do want might not come naturally or be easy at first, but as my dear friend and teacher Don Miguel Ruiz often used to remind me, “practice makes a master”.
Is What You Do Making You Happy?
We all want to matter, we want to be worthy and deserving. At the very core we simply want to be acknowledged and loved. We were brought up in a system of reward and punishment. We wanted to be good enough for our parents, teachers and friends to grab their attention. Then, it spilled over to our bosses, co-workers, spouses and society at large, and in the process we lost ourselves. When did it happen? When did we forget who we are, what we want and how to have fun? Many might say “I love what I do, I am an accomplished lawyer, businessman or teacher”. But the question remains. Are you truly loving what you do or are you loving the fact that you are successful by societal standards, or that it brings you means to pursue some other interests? Who would you be or what would you do if money was not an issue, if you lived in a perfect world of instant manifesting power? There may be a handful of people who claim to be 100% satisfied with 100% of their lives.
A Desire to be Happy Is What Really Drives You
There might also be some who will say “don’t push it, it can’t be that perfect”. But who said it can’t be? If we are creating our reality and have the power of manifesting our dominant thoughts, than what stops us from creating heaven on earth? Well, if it is true that we manifest our dominant thoughts then maybe we should look at them more closely. What really drives us in life? I am sure for each of you it is something different, be it love, money, success, power or all of the above. Yet all those are just an effect of some deeper reasoning and drives. One thing is for sure, we all want to be happy!
So what is this illusive happiness we are so tenaciously searching for? I’ve heard dozens of definitions for happiness, and sure enough each has some merit. I am sure you too have your own definition too. But let’s dig deeper. Remember when you were still a child, let’s say about 5. No, don’t intellectualize it. Do it for real. Just close your eyes for a moment and picture this little boy or a girl totally oblivious to challenges of the world. Did it mean they didn’t exist? No, it simply meant they didn’t exist in your consciousness. Did you worry where your next meal is going to come from? Or what is the responsible thing to do in any given situation? Or how others see you? No, you simply enjoyed every moment. You saw everything around you as if for the first time, exploring it ambitiously.
Happiness is the Freedom to Imagine
You were still full of wonder as a child, ready to take on the world. And sure, you banged your knees and elbows here and there, but you moved on quickly to keep playing. You didn’t dwell on it, going around for days telling everyone who would listen about how much it hurt, how stupid you were to hit it in the first place or how to avoid doing it again in the future. Fun, joy and effortlessness were your primary drives. And what about imagination? You often imagined yourself playing a prince or a princess, maybe a musician, magician, an actress or even an astronaut. How long did it take you to become what you imagined? It was Instantaneous! You weren’t concerned with what others thought about it, or even whether they believed it or not. You believed it, completely, and that was enough to create the transformation in your experience.
Conformity and Routine Kill Happiness
So what happened? Why do we have to be politically correct now, wondering if others will consider us nuts if at the age of 50, we leave our job we never liked in the first place to become a writer, an explorer, or a professional dancer? As children, we didn’t care about age, or our ability to become whatever we wished, and simply created our realities the way we wanted using our imagination. Back to happiness and the ocean. As a wave on the ocean is a part of the ocean, we as individuals are a part of greater organizing power which creates universes, planets, star systems and embryos. Why then do we struggle on our own when we have such support systems in place? Why resist this deeper truth so widely shouted from the rooftops for millennia? Sure, not all of us understand it, believe it or are aware of it. But what if we just took a leap of faith and at least acknowledged it as a possibility? Would we lose anything? For sure not! And what if we gained more than we can imagine? Okay, so if we are all powerful and all capable of creating heaven on earth, so why am I experiencing so much suffering you ask? I asked my teacher Don Miguel Ruiz this question and he said that everything in our current experience happens because of our link with the past. Let go of it, let go of the past and this illusion you created yourself. If you want to create a new life, start from the here and now, he continued. Be comfortable with the unknown, practice not knowing until you become a master of it. Let go of that which doesn’t serve you any longer. The moment you forget about the past you are ready.
Willingness to Change
I can almost hear some of you thinking, ‘but you don’t understand what happened to me, it is easy for you to say because you didn’t experience what I did’! EXACTLY MY POINT!! Fair enough, nobody can know where you are until they walked in your shoes. But the question remains. Do you want to continue this way or are you willing to give up the struggle? If the first is true, that’s up to you, but I would have a hard time believing this choice. After all, we all want to be happy, even if you have given up on the idea long ago. Well, you are still here, you are still going, you are still searching. What do you think is the reason?
Seeking Happiness in the Attention of Others
It’s interesting how the need for acknowledgement, validation and reward that we developed early on follows us into adulthood. For many people, this need to be acknowledged and validated is their primary driving desire.
People who don’t believe they can compete with the rest of the world often developed a game of their own. How can I have the biggest challenge, pain, suffering and disadvantage, to be at least the best in that category instead. And they do play their pity party game well. And they too get their reward; the attention of others.
Happiness Lies Beyond Our Stuck Narratives
I know its not pleasant to have to admit our mistakes and own up to our toxic behaviors because they hit way too close to home. But in the big picture, none of it is really good or bad, all our stories served us well enough at some point, and usually the worst we’ve done is wasted valuable time. The big question is: what do you want now? You want to be happy, right? It is that simple. And the solution is just as simple. It might not be easy, but it’s simple. Abandon your story and allow the power that is inherent within you to show you the way. No stories. No past. JUST YOU!
